Breckan had some stomach problems and we have been waylaid at the "Diligently Surmount" hotel (that's really it's name. I think Diligently Surmount is China's Marriot affiliate) in Kashgar for another day. This wasn't a bad thing at all and it gave me more time to dedicate myself to some empirical data collecting and research on Uighur culture. The following is a peer reviewed list of "Things Uighur Love." Oddly enough none of these things have made the wikipedia article. Luckily, my dear readers will receive a more scholarly assessment of Kashgarian cultures.
1. Mustaches. Every man under 50, and quite a few women, sport powerful, viral and awe-inspiring mustaches. The simple reason for this is Uighur men are truly glorious men and the mustache is the only way real men will wear facial hair. I'm not kidding. Right now, looking around, I see at least 15 mustaches.
2. Flesh Colored Nylons. Uighur women love flesh color nylons the way Uighur men love mustaches. Today I saw a woman wearing flesh color nylon socks over her flesh colored full length nylons. It was a flesh colored nylon fiesta and it was fantastic.
3. Watermelon. The commitment this town has to watermelon is truly fantastic. Every 9 feet you can stop and buy a slice of watermelon. Men stand around with huge knifes in one hand watermelon in the other. You hand them 15 cents and they cut a piece off for you.
4. Things That Sparkle. You couldn't throw Liberace 3 feet in town without hitting a woman in a dress with either glitter, sequins, or bedazzled beads on it. It's like walking around all day at an 80's prom.
5. Unibrows. This isn't some "haha isn't central asia backwards" kind of joke. I have seen mulitiple women with drawn on unibrows. Go figure.
6. Being The Worst Drivers On The Planet. I thought Tibetan Nomads would hold this title forever, you know with the fact that they all bought motorcycles 8 minutes ago and spend most of their lives living 100's of miles from the next nearest motorcycle. Boy was I wrong. If China really wanted to solve the problem of Uigjer insurrections they would hand out free cars to everyone, and in 2 years there wouldn't be a living soul left in this city.
For us, this entire area has been one of the highlights of a very highlighty trip. The city rocks and will for a couple more minutes. The livestock market was beyond belief and probably one of the coolest things I've ever seen on any trip. I'm also going to link to an NPR debate I really enjoyed. If you have 45 minutes and like seeming smart, give it a listen. Last but not least I'm including a wikipedia article to Nestorianism because, well ancient Christianity was pretty cool.
you guys are awesome, i love reading about your trip. hope breckan didn't get too sick.
ReplyDeletechristian thinks your photos should be in national geographic. what kind of camera do you use? we need to get a new one.
Dang, brother. I'm taking my motorcycle across the US this summer, which I thought was pretty awesome until stumbling on your blog. Now I'm shamed at my internal combustion engine that will power me a few thousand miles. At least I won't have to gnaw on stray animal bones in a Himalayan snowstorm, though. Plus one for internal combustion and Econolodges.
ReplyDeleteKudos for pulling a Bee Gees and staying alive. See you at school in the fall.
I hope Breckan gets feeling better. Mike says "What's up Humiston's"
ReplyDeletehey
ReplyDeleteDear Team Awesome,
ReplyDelete[ignore the prior comment - blogger's in croatian right now: baffling.]
- Did you notice that the Kyrgyz love donkey penis jokes? Thought this was kind of funny until we saw the real deal. Then it's just scary.
- Speaking of donkey, did you eat any? We had a taste in Dunhuang, and 'tastes like ass' jokes aside, thought it was better than the lamb. We never ventured for camel paw though.
- Livestock market was wow - totally agree. And all of Kashgar, really - I get that people like indoor plumbing and all, but 'progress' can be sad.
- Not just nylon-on-nylon action but black leggings-on-nylon was a real fav for the Uyghur ladies. Compliments the sparkles.
- Say Uyghur. Say it again. Always good for a giggle.
You are our heroes. Photos are consistently outstanding. Don't know how you manage to not shower for two weeks and still look outstandingly photogenic. Enjoy Pakistan.
- Michelle and Gabe from Tiger! Leaping! Gorge!
PS We're watching a Croatia-Hungary netball match, because the variety show on the other channel was too confusing. The world is big, and weird.